Mind Over Matter: Boot Camp for Your Brain

Mind Over Matter: Boot Camp for Your Brain

Stressed much? Reaching that point where if one more person asks how you’re feeling, you may just slap them? Finding yourself putting the car keys in the refrigerator and the orange juice in the pantry? Well, honey child, I think it’s safe to say we have all been there and done that! You are not alone!

As a caregiver, your mental strength can and will be tested, stretched, pulled, torn and shattered over and over again. Each time you may wonder how and when you will ever pick yourself up and keep going with an utter  lack of sleep, support, and...in my case… red wine. You may have already reached that point at which you officially want to throw in the towel, crawl into a dark space, and hibernate. Forever. As blissful as that sounds, however, a good caregiver will never give up. You know you can’t hide from your loved one’s conditions because they aren’t going anywhere any time soon. That having been said, how do you keep those feet shuffling along? How do you get up and get through the next day?

MENTAL RESILIENCE.  That’s how. Don’t get me wrong, keeping your body in the best shape possible will do wonders for your caregiving abilities…but improving your overall mental outlook is crucial to being the best caregiver that you can be.  Strengthening your mind, your psyche, and your heart need to be at the top of your caregiving to-do list every day. When you keep your mental and emotional self as healthy as possible, your body will follow suit.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. As we say in the South, “Ain’t nobody got time for that!” As a caregiver, your plate is jammed packed. Okay, maybe more like overflowing at this point. This is when that extra bit of mental strength is most important! Well, let’s take a look at what I call “The 7 Crucial C’s of Resilience” and see just how little it takes to effectively integrate a brain workout into your daily schedule. Time for Brain Boot Camp!

The 7 Crucial C’s of Resilience

1.       Competence—What are some of your special abilities? What kinds of skills have you picked up as a caregiver? What types of skills would you like to improve or learn more about? Jot down a short list of these (heck, do it now!) and think of how far you’ve come since you first began caregiving. Or, if you are new at this, think of one thing that you are already doing well. Write down a short list of tasks you want to accomplish each day, and check each one off as you complete it. Having that visual present will make you feel more empowered.

2.       Confidence—Wave your caregiving flag with pride! You are already a hero for having the courage to step into the role of caregiver! Get on with your bad self! Give yourself compliments every day, whether it be in the form of a sticky note on the bathroom mirror or an email/voicemail to yourself reminding you that you are important, kind, compassionate, smart, funny, and good-looking. Make an effort to smile as much as possible, even when you feel like punching a hole through the wall. Smiling automatically triggers the “happy hormones” that are essential to feeling good. Use them to your benefit!

3.       Connection—Healthy minds thrive on healthy conversation with other adults! As brilliant as your precious three year old may be, your brain and heart need to interact with other adults in order to function at their best capacity. Get connected as soon as possible with a support group, a walking partner, and other resources that feed your brain with new ideas. Refresh your mind during a simple five minute phone call with a “check-in” buddy.  Sign up for an online daily devotional, discover a new blog, and SHARE your thoughts and experiences with others!

4.       Character—Juggling multiple responsibilities and knowing how to be resourceful builds character. Being able to battle your loved one’s conditions as well as manage your own conditions and stress gives you experience and knowledge that many non-caregivers do not possess. Take five minutes a day to reflect on or write down any goals or dreams that you may have for the upcoming day, month, year…or ten years down the road. Be creative and don’t be afraid to fantasize about what you want to accomplish! Build onto your character by taking an online course, get certified for a specific skill, or make a presentation to a support group or rehab facility. Give yourself the credit you deserve!

5.       Contribution—Utilize your caregiving skills by reaching out to others. This does not necessarily have to be time consuming. Share advice and caregiving tips with others who may be new to caregiving and are desperately in need of support and encouragement. You know what that’s like, so why not empower yourself by lifting up others?

6.       Coping—Every caregiver deals with their own unique situation, so it makes sense that you may choose to cope with your situation differently than your friend. Even so, there are still both healthy and negative ways of coping with stress. Make a list of what you believe are good coping habits. Now make a list of bad coping habits and compare the two.  Which of these do you feel you are using to deal with your stress the most? If you are feeling more tired, frustrated, anxious or sad as a result of your coping mechanism (s) (i.e. drinking, smoking, binge eating) then you may need to seek help in order to redirect yourself onto the right path again.

7.       Control—Don’t we all like to feel as if we have everything covered? Well, sometimes things happen that are simply out of our control, and we have to figure out how to best deal with the chaos that has been dealt to us. Now, I’m a sassy Southern woman at heart, and I have to admit that I haven’t always confronted chaos with a “Bless your little heart” attitude. My temper and impatience are two traits that I have to continuously rein in when I feel a situation slipping out from under my thumb. In order to react in the most efficient and effective way possible, I try to remember these two things:  1) Breathe  and 2) You ARE in control of how you let a conflict, person, or a dog that decided to digest some very important papers from work affect your feelings and emotions. You can choose to make yourself feel worse by reacting violently…or you can take it all in stride and pride yourself on keeping your cool. Regain control by reminding yourself that your actions are going to affect not just yourself, but everyone else around you.

So caregivers, put your mind and soul through a boot camp of sorts, and get them into tip top shape so that you can be the best caregiver you can be. Both you and your loved one will benefit greatly from your newfound resilience!